OKAY, I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS OVER MR. LEE. I HONESTLY THOUGHT I WAS. WELL AFTER SEVENTEEN YEARS OF GOING THROUGH ALL KINDS OF HELL WITH THIS MAN, I FOUND OUT I AM NOT OVER HIM. SEEMS CRAZY, OR HAVE I LOST MY MIND TO SOMETHING I WISH FOR. I'VE GOT THE SWEETEST MAN ON EARTH NOW, HE WORKS VERY HARD AND HE LOVES ME IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING, SO WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON IN MY HEAD. OR IS IT MY HEART THAT WANTS TO TAKE CONTROL AGAIN. I'VE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD WITH MR. LEE FAR TOO LONG. I KNOW THE PAIN AND I KNOW THE OUTCOME IF I DECIED TO SET MYSELF UP IN HIS TRAP. PAIN AND MORE PAIN. THOUGHT I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS TYPE OF MADNESS. I DON'T WANT TO BE USED ANY MORE. I CAN'T PLAY THE STREET GAME ANYMORE. TOO OLD FOR THIS. AND BESIDES, I WROTE THE PLAYERS MANUAL AND BROKE ALL THE RULES IN THE PROCESS. OKAY, I GOT IT. I CAN'T GO BACKWARDS AND MOVE FORWARD AT THE SAME TIME.
TODAY, THINKING OF PAST LOVES IS NOT A BAD THING, JUST DON'T ACT ON THE THOUGHT. REMEMBER THE PAIN AND THE PRICE YOU HAD TO PAY IN ORDER TO ENJOY THE FREEDOM YOU NOW HAVE.
Your a very strong woman my friend. Keep looking toward the future and don't look back. Hard to do, I know, but we can do it. We can still love what we no longer have or want, but we don't have to act on it. We have that strength, we just have to find it and keep it. Many Hugs....
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